Have you ever been so in love to the point that you keep on making excuses for their inappropriate behavior? Because I do, a lot of times. I can give you an example based on my previous situationship. Well, I always get the silent treatment after a fight, blames me for how I reacted after he lied, he is always busy and gets angry when I’m asking for a little quality time, then I just always think that I should accept for who he is and everything he did is normal that I am the one to blame. Which is quite the easiest way to do rather than speaking up that will just lead to an argument. Do you just accept these things? And maybe those things that we keep on defending about them could be their red flags. Those things we chose to ignore and blame ourselves rather than letting them fix and change, could be one of the reasons why most of us get terribly hurt.
What is a red flag? Dr. Wendy Walsh, Ph.D. stated that “In relationships, red flags are signs that the person probably can’t have a healthy relationship, and proceeding down the road together would be emotionally dangerous”. Yes, indeed, some people are not capable to commit with somebody else and unluckily it’s one of the few people we met. Those people who can’t even reach the bare minimum to the point that you have to beg for it. Most of them are emotionally unavailable or abusive, some of them lack communication, and girl that is one of a hella red flag.
I don’t want to blame you if you get hurt by being blinded from the fact that he or she’s just a shitty person that you chose to fight for it rather than call them out for treating you badly, you just want to give and receive love but, in the end, you received pain more than you expected and that is because most of us choose to ignore people’s red flag. That is why it is very important to notice the red flags, so you have a choice of a no or go. Before the emotional attachment gets deeper and before they will have control over you which I hope won’t happen, you will be able to discuss what you dislike about their behavior, because if they do really care for you? They will not do things that will hurt you and ruin your relationship. Just like what people say “you don’t hurt what you love”.
Noticing the things that could possibly ruin your relationship is the best way to do if you want to work things out, I am not saying that you should overreact about the things you just didn’t like, it’s about the things they do that makes you uncomfortable and you know what girl? Once you notice their red flag, you called them out and they keep doing the same thing? GET OUT. There are lots of people out there who won’t make you beg to be treated right. Leave the table that no longer serves you, no matter how important you think it is.
Tags: Red flags, importance of noticing red flags, identifying red flags, potential problems, risks, relationships, personal growth, LifeThinker.
