Have you ever been in a position where it makes you happy when you do something for people or give something to people? It’s not that you are obligated to do so but you just do that for free even if it means that you don’t have left something for yourself. Well, that’s not a very good idea. I am not saying that you should stop giving, what I meant is being selfless for some time is not being selfish.
I remember myself when I gave too much to people even though they don’t deserve it, if you have been doing that in the past or now you probably know how it felt. It will drain you, maybe people will think that “they don’t ask you to do so” Yes, indeed but the fact there are people who will always take advantage of you. I remember the person I was with before, we treated each other more than a friend so I offer that if there was anything he needs, he can count on me. Which is he does, he always messaged me whenever there was something he want me to answer in his academic work, at first I don’t mind because he was a friend until he demanded me for things even though he treated me poorly. Whenever he gets mad, he will ignore me for days or cursed me. I’ve suffered emotional and verbal abuse from him and I still help him, because maybe in that way, he’ll treat me better but sadly he never did. One time, I confronted him that I always do his work without anything in return, I just want him to apologize for what he did yet he turned the table “You told me that if I needed help, I should ask you” It is funny that just because you promise something to someone, you have to fulfill it even they are treating you poorly. To make the story short, I still help him whenever he asked me to even though he already left me and just talked at least once every two months. I can’t say no to him because he makes me feel bad whenever I’m disagreeing with him. This happens because I give all of myself to him.
If you ever find yourself in a position where the table no longer serves you, leave and know what you deserve. When you give too much to people, they will consciously and unconsciously take an advantage of you, so you always need to leave something for yourself, so when people used you, they are not in control of your life or even your decisions. When people leave you, you don’t get lost, you’re just going to pick up the pieces you gave to them because there is still a part of you that you’ve left to yourself. Always have something for yourself, do not give your all to them because nothing you can do or give will make them stay in your life. Save something for yourself because, in the end, you are only the one who will pick up the scattered pieces of yourself that they’ve ruined.
Tags: stop pleasing people, save something for yourself, prioritize yourself, avoid being taken advantage of, emotional abuse, self-care, mental health, LifeThinker.
