Do you ever wonder if someone important to you still cares for you? Or you just shrugged the idea that they change the way they treat you? Because I always notice the details, even the smallest thing, or maybe I am just overreacting but it makes me overthink a lot. Do you ever wonder what made them change? Or do you just wish that you can turn back the time and find where you went wrong so that you are able to do something about it? You cared for them so much and it hurts you to see them turn into a different person. Are you like me who put so much effort and love into those people they care for? Because I am pretty sure that you will relate to this matter.
I have had this long-term close friend for 6 years; we were very close like a sister but not blood-related. We talked every day, go out after class, and we even sit-in in each class even though we are not on the same course just to wait for each other to go home or walk somewhere. We both know each other’s deepest secrets, we almost shared everything and even plan that when we get pregnant, one of us will be a godmother of our first-born child until things changed which I don’t understand why, it’s like all of a sudden, we drifted apart waiting for each other to knock on someone’s door to ask “what happened?”. I just remembered that she doesn’t talk to me the way she used to, she left my messages unread for days and I know for a fact that people have their own matter in life but the sudden changes make me think that our matter is different. Until she tweeted something on social media saying that “I am not responsible to give you my time, I have my own life.” it makes me wonder about those times we shared everything and she never bring that up and I am not even asking for her whole time, I was just asking why she suddenly changed after she got a boyfriend and again just like the old times, I was the one to blame because I keep insisting to fix what’s broken. We didn’t talk for almost a year and once we had the chance to fix what we lost, things cannot be back to the way they used to. She’s not the same anymore, we are not the same anymore there’s this like a gap between us even though we’re just talking a few inches away with each other and after that encounter, we never spoke again.
Imagine those 6 years we’ve shared as closest friends just turned into dust because we drifted apart because one of us didn’t care anymore. I used to chase her, always asking if she has free time to go out with me, but she always said that she was busy or don’t have money and I understand and then I remember, how am I able to chase something who keeps on running? I stopped and I’ve learned from that situation.
When people change it’s because something happened and if they stop caring about how you feel about the situation? At least try to fix things with them, but if they keep running away, just like the red light, you should know when to stop. Darling, you cannot please people, you cannot control their actions but you can always control your emotions and the way you feel about the situation so you can fix your matters more calmly. We can admit that when we truly care about someone, we try and try to do something about the changes, about their treatment, we even come up with shitty excuses just to justify their behavior even though we’re hurting just to save the relationship we have for them and you know what’s wrong about it? We are letting them disrespect us, we are giving them the freedom to treat us poorly— I am not saying that you should just cut them off easily, but sometimes peace is better rather than fighting for a long-term relationship that wanted to be long gone. We cannot please them, and no number of memories can make them care for us if they don’t want to anymore, no amount of the “good things” will change the fact that some people and relationships can just be turned into dust in a minute, but you can always move forward. If they stop caring, distance yourself aif you cannot fix the situation anymore. Stop trying, stop begging, because if they want to, they would.
Tags: coping with rejection, emotional pain, moving on, personal growth, self-care, relationships, LifeThinker.
