Have you ever found yourself in a position where you’re expected to support your family, not out of love, but out of obligation? In the Philippines, being a breadwinner is a common reality, almost like an unwritten rule that many of us live by. Some say it’s our responsibility to give back to our parents because they’ve done so much for us. But, is it really our duty? Or is it something we do out of love?
I’m a breadwinner too, caught between the sense of ‘responsibility’ and the desire to ‘give back because I love them.’ It’s tough, really tough, especially when your parents haven’t taught you about financial independence. They were brought up with the belief, almost like being brainwashed, that we, as their children, owe them. They believe that because they gave us life and took care of us, we must repay them.
But what happens when it stops being about love and becomes an obligation? My situation is complicated. My mother, the one who sacrificed so much, worked abroad to support us and pay for our education. On the other hand, my father was raised with different values, struggling with his own insecurities, and now spends his days caring for my special needs brother after leaving his job.
I’m 25, living on my own, yet still sending 20% of my income back home. I’ve had to take on multiple jobs just to support myself and my family. I have dreams, big dreams, but they’re on hold because a part of my earnings always goes back to my family. It’s heartbreaking, especially seeing my mother still hustling, selling things just to get by. I don’t want to see her suffer anymore, but what can I do? I can’t just walk away from them.
This is the reality for many breadwinners in the Philippines. We’re caught in a cycle where our parents, raised with different expectations, believe that their children will lift them out of hardship. And as much as I want to break free, I can’t abandon them. So, I keep grinding, working hard not just to survive, but to build a future where I can finally start my own family, free from the burden that has been passed down through generations. I want to end this cycle, so the next generation doesn’t have to go through what we did.
Tags: FilipinoBreadwinner, FamilyObligations, CulturalExpectations, FinancialBurden, SupportingFamily, GenerationalStruggles, BreadwinnerLife, PhilippinesCulture, FamilyDuty, BreakingTheCycle
